Date: Wed, 25 Jan 2006 04:28:12
From: Tony
To: Men's prayer list
Subject: God must have Tuesdays nights scheduled for me
Hello,
It is 4am, and here I am typing in my electronic diary (email), noting
the gifts God has given me. Over the
past several months, I feel that when I am around others, (family, friends,
etc) that I feel I sound a bit on the "churchy" side to some
people. The only thing I can do is
say, O-well, I am sorry. I love to
talk about my Lord, my God, my savior....
My Savior? God has had me on a
long road here lately, and I think that road has been leading up to tonight.
Because you see, tonight was the second time that I woke up from a
deep sleep and found myself praying.
Wow, to me, that is a powerful message from God. HE was talking to ME in my sleep. My heart
is so full right now, that it actually hurts.
If you remember, God gave me a wonderful gift of Karolyn being the
first person that I would lead in the sinner's prayer. Prior that
opportunity, I prayed that God would give me the opportunity to lead someone
to Him. At the time, I had NO clue it
would be my oldest daughter he would give to me as the person I would make my
"test run" with. That is
a powerful thought to me. You
have to be licensed to drive a car, to fly a plane, to fly the space
shuttle... But to do the most powerful thing in the world, you just have to
have faith. While I was doing the most powerful thing in the world (telling
someone about Jesus). I had to pray that God would give me the strength,
knowledge and wisdom to do what he has commanded us to do, and that is tell
others about Him.
In the first paragraph, I put a question mark after My salvation for a
reason. Up until tonight, when God
woke me up talking to me. I had questioned my salvation for many
reasons. I had heard statements from
prominent christians saying, "Think back to what your life was before
your salvation" (well, actually, I was saved at age twelve, and I can
remember a lot more sin in my life after age twelve than before) "You
have the pre-salvation Tony, the saved Tony and the convergence Tony" (i
found out tonight that, convergence may take some people longer than others.
But that's OK. In my case it was twenty seven years between my salvation and
that start of my convergence.) "You will never for forget the details
surrounding your salvation" (hello... i was twelve. i can't remember
details from that many decades ago. i remember where i was, but little detail)
And then tonight, Tuesday night.
The night I was recently given a gift from God. The night Karolyn was
saved by the grace of God. Tonight, God wakes me up to remind my of something
I sometimes forget. "God will
answer the prayers of those that believe in him"
1Ch 5:20b "He answered their prayers, because they trusted in
him." Wow, God was finally able
to pound it thru my thick skull that the reason God answered my prayers
about, (leading someone in the sinner's prayer and strength, knowledge and
wisdom), is because I trusted Him. To trust in Him... I have to believe in
Him... To believe in Him I have to have faith in Him... To have faith in
Him... Therefore, I am.
I believe now, that my doubt about my salvations was satin using
legalism to instill doubt into my mind.
I am going to go lay back down now, and have a peaceful nap before my
new day starts.
God bless,
Tony
